Gbenro Ajibade (Sagun), Blossom Chukwujekwu (Brume), Omowunmi Dada (Eva Osaro), Alexx Ekubo (Tony Bello), Wofai Fada (Ireti), Beverly Naya (Mrs. Abby Bello), Tope Tedela (John Okoli), OC Ukeje (Detective Komolafe). Writers Tunde Apalowo, Tari Ekiyor, Walter Taylaur; Executive Producers, Walter Taylaur, Kevin Taylaur, Jeffery Taylaur; Cinematography, Idowu Adedapo, Paul Gambit. © 2017
Catch.er provokes the thought of those detective novels, the Nick Carter types China Doll, Checkmate. Run, Spy, Run, we used to read and debate over the characters. I had a cousin, Patricia. One of those old Harfordians, I must tell you this for free, most of them were snobs. They are in high esteem to the provinces, as Annie Walsh Memorial School is to Donkey (Freetown). She married me to the Agatha Christie series like Murder on the Links, Five Little Pigs, Murder of Roger Ackroyd. Too many novels that I can’t come up with names at gunpoint. She had a relationship at the Provincial Book Stores. Myself, I was going to work there at one time. It never panned out. I wish I had.
When Pat would bring home those Christie series, the newest ones, of course, I’d watch her like a dog watches its master chewing on some fat bones. Up and down, up and down we went. The sooner she passed the novel to me, I’ll scurry into my little room and pour over it. I wonder what secondary school kids read these days? Watching sports-betting on TV. Or, watching playstation manuals on youtube. Do they ever have time to read? No wonder they come out of those hallowed walls, hollow.
This may sound like a cliché: Mr. Tony Bello won’t kill a fly. Abbey Bello, his wife, is his economic lifeline. He would be stupid to screw it up. Catch him in a situation like in one of his films when Ekubo acted the gigolo. Uche Jombo acted his Cougar. See how he was split between his Cougar and the Black American he tried to swindle in Lagos Cougars. Funny flick. If you don’t know so, then let me let you in on this Nollywood secret: Alex Ekubo is the Nollywood playboy at the moment. So when Mr. Tony Bello gets called in for a “friendly discussion,” Detective Komolafe (O.C Ikeji) couldn’t get much out of him. He knows Mr. Bello won’t kill his wife; he is too close for a suspect. He won’t, and I believe so too. Here’s why?
The interrogation of Mr. Bello and the Ashawo, Eva Osaro (Omowunmi Dada):
Detective Komolafe, “Miss Eva, can you please repeat what you told John?”
Eva, “He killed his wife.”
Mr. Bello, “What!?”
Detective Komolafe, “As you were saying, why do you think he killed his wife.?”
Eva, “He told me he’s tired of her. And he’s only with her because of her father’s money.”
After watching that scene, my little knowledge of the Agatha Christy series kicks in me. Tony is one foil in the drama. Catch.er is formulaic and runs along that vein. Mr. Bello won’t kill his wife, knowing full well her presence is his economic lifeline. I became cocksure Mr. Bello won’t be the killer. Dramatists by craft, let the story run out afield. Like a fisherman, they’ll haul in only the characters that help them put their stories to bed. Along the way, of course, they may kill few characters who would not advance the enterprise on hand. Here, the writers killed Mrs. Bello out of the way. But! But, the story of her afterlife carries the narrative to the finish.
Her competitor for the same portfolio, Brume, had misappropriated the company fund. He finds himself in a hot seat in front of Abby. He is bitter, enraged, and his manliness kicks in. Brume won’t be bullied by the little girl, Abby. He could be the Jeffrey Epstein of Nollywood who can bring underage girls to his rich friends’ bedrooms and get lavish sponsorship from them in return. You know the story, in Black Rose. The Detectives shake him in and shake him out; up and down, he couldn’t crack. They couldn’t break him. They were not done with him, in any way. He does rouse the Detective’s suspicion of him. They keep him longer, though. Maybe he’ll get tired and spill on himself.
The Detective and his partner are now closer to Brume for him to be arrested. Detective Komolafe has the intimidating and adroitness of Detective, Peter Falk in Columbo. “Oh, Just one more thing,” the tagline Peter Faulk uses to haul in his culprits. Brume is shifty and has changed his statements so often. The Detective pin him to his visit to Abby’s house on the eve of her murder. Yet she was alive when he left. He is a foil too, not the killer, though he had a stronger motive and no alibi. They almost put Brume into handcuffs and-
A disheveled attorney, Segun (Gbenro Ajibade), materialized from nowhere to be the accused’s lawyer. Brume himself is flabbergasted. As stupefied as we are. To everybody’s wonder, who in the hell is this fellow coming to represent a murder suspect? And the brother of the murdered woman too. We focus our attention on him then; this disheveled attorney. In one of his accounts, he talked about the “bludgeon” face. The Detective catches upon that and questions his knowledge of the murder instrument that “bludgeoned” the woman. He self-exposed himself.
As usual, there’s always the bad sheep in a family of plenty. Segun is one of those. He had had a crush on his stepsister a long time ago. Hence he hasn’t been coming around since she marries Tony Bello. Tony had backhanded his sister, and she was crying, and Segun rushes to Abby’s apartment to console her. Instead, Segun attempted to rape Abby, and there was a scuffle. She threatened to expose him, but he won’t let her, and he strangled her, then bludgeoned her face.
Catch.er is not really deep in character development. The plot is so streamlined to the extent that we only see Mr. Bello and not the effect of Abby’s family and the relationship to Segun. Maybe there would have been a sumptuous dinner where all families gather. By their dialogues and interaction, the story would have had more depth. Brume is scared of the scandal and talks about his wife and kids. Bring them into the action. The overbearing wife of Brume drove him to squander the company fund. What’s her character like? Detective Komolafe must have had a little bit of history and family exposure, which must influence his interrogations. All these factors would have given body to the story.
Like I said earlier, the film is formulaic. Predictable. A knowledgeable person may rightly guess the resolution. The formula is there for everyone to see. The first and the second accused in such dramas aren’t the culprits. Must be a character, outside the sphere of the suspected, that may have committed the crime. However, they got me here by letting the stepbrother be the culprit. I will swear to hail Mary, I imagined a bitter secret toyboy turned her murderer and not her brother. Drama and its writers aren’t in the business of abracadabra, pull magic from a thin air. The audience is clever, expectant of what you said in your thesis topic, and they look forward to it. Give it to them damn it!
Eva’s plot woven into the story isn’t much of a bearing to the story. Her presence in the story is sporadic. It is seemingly the type of fill-in characters we use to advance the narrative. Here’s what is disconcerting about her. She’s planted to implicate Mr. Bello in his wife’s murder. In another scene, we see her in bed with Officer John. What is the essence of that expose? Then too, the role of Abby’s lunatic brother, Segun, who will finally put the story to bed isn’t emphasized. This isn’t a clueless drama. Segun is the culprit, an important figure in Catch.er, but the scriptwriters didn’t give him his worth in the story.
The story is a half-baked structure, even as I will recommend it for your evening treat. The writers try to write ‘Whodunit,’ but it never quite hit the marks of a murder mystery. Characters and plots are shallow, and by following the formula of a crime story, one is easy to come to the conclusion of the drama. It is never a good feeling for a writer to see the audience leaving the theatre before the credit crawl rolls; it happens when they figure out the end of the drama. It would have been ingenious if they had found an original twist that would slap the audience in the face. Watch it and let’s debate.