Burnt Onion Productions presents Lawrence Maleka (Ace), Kwanele Mthethwa (Zandile), Sandile Mahlangu (Duke), Nimrod Nkosi (Mr. Zungu), Themblsie Matu (Aunt Miriam), Obed Baloyi (Uncle Long John), Sello Ramolahloane (Bra Biza), Sthandile Nkosi (Rachel), Thuli Nduvane (Mandy). Director, Thabang Moleya; Writer/Producer, Katleho Ramaphakela; Executive Producers, Katleho Ramaphakela, Rethabile Ramaphakela, Tshepo Ramaphakela; Director of Photography, Bradley Devine © 2024.
When a young software developer, Duke (Sandile Mahlangu), a nerd and a whimper, scopes Ace (Lawrence Maleka) in a marketplace, it is no coincidence. Duke needs a lobola man to negotiate a bride price for his fiancé, Zandile (Kwanele Mthethwa), a girl from a wealthy family. Duke must present his family during the bride price negotiation, but his most dependable family member is in prison. When his co-worker gives him Ace’s business card––Ace Ngubeni, Lobola Negotiator–––he finds a way out of his dilemma and hunts for him. Duke and Ace negotiate payments of 200,000 rands if he successfully represents and negotiates his bride price to Zandile’s family.
Lobola Man is a man who lies for a living. At Curtain Up, Ace impersonates families and negotiates successful marriages (dowry), for which he gets paid handsomely. Soon, he finds the service–lobola–a common practice of intending families of brides and grooms negotiate bride price. Some grooms have no economic or social standing to negotiate bride prices. Ace creates a profession out of this institution by recruiting families and assuring the groom of appropriate family members for the negotiation according to the bride’s family status. Word about the Lobola Man goes out on the street. Lots of people need him to negotiate lobola on their behalf.
Earlier, we witnessed Ace waking up in a strange girl’s bed, mistaking it for his pad, but he scampers after, and the girl says, “Goodbye, Ex.” Ace, a womanizer like his father, has never loved anyone besides one nightstand. His heart melts with love for the first time when he sees Zandile and Mandy (Thuli Nduvane) in a speakeasy night spot. He volunteers to take the tab for them. He has eyes for Zandile and goes wild for her in real life at first sight. Zandile will not take up with him; she knows he’s a scam; he knows that. But nature has a way of putting two people together. Uncannily, Zandile catches feelings for the fast-talking scammer, Ace. Remember, they say love comes in many colors.
As comic drama could have it, Ace and Zandile cross paths again during lunchtime in a restaurant, and all three characters meet there. Assuming that Ace is lucky enough to run into Zandile, Ace never has a clue that Zandile is the subject Duke hires him to negotiate her lobola. Duke shows up to both Zandile and Ace’s bewilderment. Zandile splashes Ace’s face with a glass of water, outraged for some truth Ace pointed out about her, and he leaves damp in both his clothes and soul. Ace has long negotiated lobola for many, but this one hits him hard. Yet, he wants the money and to stay close to Zandile, with whom he naturally falls in love.
Having closed the deal with Duke, Ace enters the Soweto Township and recruits grifters of the funniest grades. Aunt Miriam (Thembsie Matu), Uncle Long John (Obed Baloye), and Bra Biza (Sello Ramolahloane) as Duke’s parents and uncle to sit in on the lobola negotiation with Zandile’s father, Mr. Zungu (Nimrod Nkosi), a shrewd businessman, who isn’t ready to give away his daughter for cheap. The problem with the Lobola negotiations goes a little longer than Ace’s “get in and get out” philosophy. The characters he recruits are not entirely up to the job. Bra Bisa is supposed to be mute and deaf but hardly knows sign language, and Mr. Zungu will soon beat him up to it. Uncle Long John is an addictive gambler and can’t be attentive, with his ear plugged in while listening in at horse races during the Lobola negotiations. Besides crying and being hungry, Aunt Miriam wants to bring handcuffs into the meeting. The three mess up Ace’s adage of the “get in and get out” dictum. The negotiation takes longer than the get in, get out. They falter and scamper away from the compound as Mr. Zungu and his family chase after them.
Lobola Man is a funny movie from Curtain Up. For the first time, I watched a movie more than five times. Not so much for reviewing, but every time I go back to watch, I enjoy the comedy and fun like never before; scene after scene, I have this grin on my face, like a thrilled kid. Some scenes will make you crack and knock you out of your chair. The ease with which the lead carries himself in Lobola Man got me curious about Lawrence Maleka’s IMDb. According to the storyline, Ace has a lingering unhappiness that comes to the fore when he punches his deadbeat father out of anger, blaming him for his poor upbringing on the streets of the Township of Soweto. “….you and your family, that’s the life you see on TV. I am not familiar with that.” He honestly says to Zandile at length. With four films to his credit, he has garnered two wins and four nominations in South African cinema.
For instance, in the scene in which Ace recruits the gang of three from Soweto, a great rhetorician, he speaks with pithy, like no recent actor I’ve seen in films. He methodically plans this one Lobola assignment and doesn’t want it to go wrong because too much money is at stake, but as it turns out, he recruited characters straight from the James Brown era, including hairstyle and wardrobe. Uncle Long John is an addicted gambler; Bra Bisa is a pretentious deaf and mute who doesn’t know sign language, and Aunt Miriam needs more money for the gig. Uncle Long John suggested the postponement of the Lobola negotiation so he couldn’t miss betting on horses:
Uncle Long John, “Why don’t we postpone the day? So that some of us who hustle can get a chance to work.”
Ace, “So all of a sudden, you have plans! Huh? Our money is not good enough for you?”
Uncle Long John, “No, no, let’s carry on.”
Ace turns to Bra Bisa, “Do me a favor. Please stay quiet. Be mute. Can you do that?”
Bra Bisa, “Yes, I can. I know how to use sign language. I was in a deaf (malapropism) of a salesman play.”
Ace, “And now, my aunt lady, you’re my bad cop.”.
Aunt Miriam, “I love my role. Now I need to get my handcuffs.”
Ace, “No, you’re not a real cop…. Your only job is to lower the bride price, that’s all.”
Aunt Miriam, “Should I tell them she’s not a virgin?”
Duke/Ace (in unison), “No!”
Ace, “You say nothing about Zandile.”
Aunt Miriam, “Oh, she’s a virgin.”
Ace, “Aunt Miriam, that’s none of your business.”
A series of mishaps follow Ace’s strategy. Bra Bisa couldn’t understand sign language thrown at him by Mr. Zungu, father of the bride; Uncle Long John had his ear plugged, listening in on gambling results, and Aunt Miriam was grumbling about the 10,000 rands they negotiated with Ace, as small. Ace and Mr. Zungu’s family haggle over the price of the dowry; Ace leaves to consult with Duke outside. Shit happens! Mandy, Zandile best friend, recognizes Ace as a lobola man Duke hired to negotiate on his behalf. She bursts Ace’s bubbles. Hell breaks loose when Zandile says Ace tries to kiss her on top of the bargain. After hearing his attempt to kiss his fiancé, Duke jumps on Ace in a fight. Please don’t take it from me; watch this scene and laugh your heart out.
Besides the comic strips Lobola Man throws our way, there is a logical ending to the craziness. Duke isn’t genuinely in love with Zandile but an office co-worker, Rachel (Kosi). After the fallout of his Lobola negotiation, he runs into the arms of Stahandile Rachel, who he feels has a genuine love for him. On the other side of this romantic spectrum, Ace and Zandile feel free, like high school kids breaking away from their parents for the first time and night.
That night, they were out at the concert, letting all down, bottom up all night, and their spirits sky-high. That fantastic night, Zandile says she’s hungry, Ace prepared her sandwich in their boggled-up restaurant. Zandile buys into loving Ace. Women for their food; think of it. Ace could take care of a woman; she must have been considering. They were alive and happy with each other. They believed they had something in common and even nearly kissed, but the restaurant owner barged in and cut them short, to their disgust.
Zandile: “You know, I don’t get you. Someone like you, funny, smart, charming, who has the potential even to be a chef, why is he chasing skirts?”
Ace, “People marry when you feel safe. Not necessarily the people you want to be with…you and your family, that’s the life you see on TV. I’m not familiar with it.”
As rhetorical as Ace is, he has won the heart of Zandile even though she doesn’t know who this strange character is. Yet she has fallen in love with a contrast to the fiancé, Duke, a Jerry Lewis kind character, wimpy and funny. Of course, most girls like roughnecks, and such is Ace. Duke is a genius but a wimp who couldn’t provide the protection women would need from their loved ones. It was hallelujah for Ace when Duke told him he had never been in love with Zandile but with Rachel at his office and even invited Ace to his wedding with Rachel. That is the best day in Ace’s life when he must jump over hurdles at the airport to catch Zandile in coach 96 of an airline before her plane leaves for Paris. They are both in church as guests at Duke and Rchel’s wedding—a beautiful summer movie.