Shirley Frimpong-Manso presents, Ocu Ukege (Tony), Mrs. Wilson (Joke Silva), Blossom Chukwujekwu (Fred), Chris Attoh (Gabby), Niki Samonas (Marian), Joselyn Dumas (Lulu) Kamilala Akindoju (Frances). Producers, Ken Attoh, Inya Lawal, George Williams; Executive producers, Joselyn Dumas, Inya Lawal, Ken Attoh Shirley Frimpong Manso, Joke Silva; Director of photography, Ken Attoh; Story/ Scriptwriter, Shirley Frimpong Manso; Director, Abu Idris. ©2017.
This topic reminded me of grade school when I was struggling with my vowels and consonants and s-o, so, days of our lives in school. My teacher slapped my palm with his belt so many times because I couldn’t get it together. Every time I pronounced ‘potato’ as ‘potahto,’ the whole class would fall into a hilarious swoon. Sometimes I was confused about why they laughed. The teacher had told me that, ‘ta’ could be pronounced as in, tab,’ and adding, ‘let,’ could be marked as in, ‘tablet.’ I never quickly got the hang of it until late. To this day, that title brings back my elementary days, and I sheepishly laughed every time I confront the pronunciation of the word, ‘potato.’
My wife and I been married going on to twenty-five years, and we have separated, half-divorced, and malice with each other a dozen times. But whenever we met in the closet space, and whenever our behinds touch each other’s naked behind, especially the soft parts, case dismissed. I tell you my secret why no one has ever sat on an affair between my wife and me.
It’s funny when you love somebody, but you can’t stand. The couple loves each other, yet this chip on either shoulder gets in the way. Tony (Ocu Ukege) and Lulu (Joselyn Dumas) are locked in a divorce case, and the law decides that being they both worked equally hard to own the house, and neither party is ready to give it up, they should divide the property in half. Tony gets downstairs compartment, and Lulu gets upstairs. And share the kitchen space. It works at first since either ego sets in, and everybody tries to prove their points. Soon, they both find the arrangement impossibility and inconvenient.
When Tony hires a twenty-something years woman to help with household chores, Lulu takes offense and pouts and goes in for a score. She too hires Gabby (Chris Attoh)- I couldn’t recognize him since Christmas Eve- a boisterous galoot of a fellow, as house help also. Of a sudden, Tony wants to talk with Lulu over this. “I have a man help to service my needs in this house. Get used to it,” she bawls back at him, and it gets to him. By now, there’s a tinge of jealousies in the couple but dare not bring it out, lest one becomes a weakling. They are still on the ego trip. As they say, it’s getting hot in here.
But the mere fact that Tony doesn’t have to contend with a motherly scold from a wife who nags about toilet seat down, and itches when followed under the shower by a husband; one who couldn’t take a morning kiss from a husband, it’s all good. He can even have a soccer party in his living room, and his boys would go wild. When Mrs. Wilson (Joke Silva) with that usual motherly glow, and care, as is in Phone Swap, could express to him her expectation that she thought, who’ll make a good wife of my daughter will be you, Tony feels disappointing and guilty to himself. That is the reality she plowed into his head.
Tony buys a beautiful linen scarf for his help, and Lulu too buys a shirt for her help and forced to get a raunchy kiss from Gabby. The high tide in the movie comes when Tony happens upon his house help to have it out with Lulu’s Gabby in his bed. Both get out of the room ill-clad, and Tony summarily fires them to get out and never come back. Lulu is outraged, and her mother had to go between them. Mrs. Williams is an old hand at such. She stayed on the sideline and umpired between the couple to the finish line. She never lost hope of a grandchild, and she gets one coming.
Potato Potahto proper ends when the couple sits on the stairs and sip tea while they talk small talks, pronounces a closed case. But the Screenwriter takes something here from my playbook. After my long period of marriage and lots of rug-rats afterward to my credit, most of the kids we conceive come after a fierce fight with a partner. The hormones in us by then must have been raging to a boiling point. My Masters-bound daughter-David Adjiboye met her when we visited him in Atlanta, Georgia-was conceived the same night after a long and exhaustive fight with my wife, en route to Myrtle beach. No GPS by then, and we missed our way so many times, only The Road to Yesterday could come to mind. And I was toasted for all the hours on the road. Three hours trip took like forever. In Myrtle Beach, I got paid handsomely.
Lady Dumas acting here is very impressive, since the Northern Affair, even as she boasts of, “…got the backside.” She looks sumptuous, especially the colorful dresses that get the backside in everyday relief. Remember now, performing arts, and popular media can’t be impressed with the heavies. The movie cameras always add ten pounds to your usual weight, and that won’t be good optic. Hold it there, babe!